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Anonymous whispered,

Hello, I am writing because I'm facing a most dreadful problem - my house is entirely devoid of ghosts! I am completely at a loss as to what to do in this situation. Is there any advice you could provide?

evilsupplyco:

First of all, introduce yourself. Write your name on a piece of paper, light a candle, and burn said. Greet your home whenever you enter, you never know who will be listening.

The loudest ghost stories involve objects moving and sensations and sounds and all manner of things. Lovely, but most certainly not the complete story.

The quietest ghost stories are never told.

Stories of found keys, or suddenly remembered appointments, or food tasting better than it ought. Of cool breezes, feeling especially pleasant, on too hot days. Of warm drinks, especially comforting, on too cold days.

Smile in the mirror when you pass it.

The quietest ghost stories involve milk remaining proper a day or two longer the “best by” date, of fruit being a bit sweeter, of rain drops making a particularly pleasant cadence against the windows.

Knock gently upon the walls as you walk from one room to another. Not always, but sometimes, when you need a hug and an affectionate touch.

The quietest ghost stories are suddenly remembering a line from your favorite book, or a quote from your favorite movie. Sneezes going unsneezed, phones charging a bit faster, a bed feeling particularly comfortable as if unseen hands tightened up the sheets and fluffed the pillows.

Calm your fears of living in an unhaunted home and quietly appreciate the range of flavors the eldritch world presents. Your surprises will be pleasant.

thefrogman:

[video]

(Source: kittiezandtittiez)

unamusedsloth:

Cats can be bros sometimes.

darkarcherprince:

phantomhivespookysass:

spookyfeuilly:

so one time this asshole was harassing my friend and he gave her a note that said “hey pretty wanna date me? yes: smile no: backflip” and like the fucking badass she is and because she’s a gymnast, she got up and did a fucking backflip in the middle of class

oh my fucking god

http://25.media.tumblr.com/8b0dcdc3b1a17599101640dd1de9b5b6/tumblr_mw337m8k6s1qdlh1io1_250.gif

dealanexmachina:

miketysonismahomegurl:

has anyone posted this yet because this is pure gold

Thank you, Matilda.

jon-snow:

god bless sdcc

homiemura:

a baguette in the butt would be a pain in the ass

himesama:

hit on me like this and i guarantee it’ll work

tenshi-art:

Don’t tell me this isn’t going to be the plot of Cap 3. xD

yorkshin:

i want to see more of them -ω-